Fashion: The rallying cry against hoodies

Lets just take a minute and be serious here. They. Don’t Look. Good.

They just don’t.

They are sloppy and not often cut in the most flattering shapes. Hoods are super duper awkward to handle, as well. For instance- that hood-hump that might accidentally befall you if you’re foolish enough to put your jacket on in a hurry.

And come on- we’re better than sloppy. We’re fabulous. Like Coco Chanel, the inventor of comfortable women’s clothing. And you can bet your sweet ass that woman did not wear hoodies.

Now don’t get me wrong here, I own and love some hoodies. The key to owning them, though is knowing when its acceptable to wear them, and when its not. And I’m so nice, I’ve made you a list.

1. In the comfort and privacy of your own home. Wear whatever your heart desires.

2. After you’ve been swimming in the ocean and are now colder than you thought possible in summer.

3. At a campfire.

4. When camping. Let’s be real here.

5. When sick or SERIOUSLY hungover.

6. Under a snowsuit.

If one of these six does not currently apply to you, take off the hoodie. It’s for your own good.

What to wear instead? Might I suggest a cardigan, A cute jacket? They even make sweaters cut like blazers but in hoodie material now. It’s fabulous.

And fashion-savvy boys- I suggest the same. Save your hoodies for work-out wear, and pull on a real sweater. It’s a one-step trick to feeling classy.

So do yourself a favour and put down the hoodie, and pick something up that tells the world you give a damn.

‘Cause you know who likes hoodies… Yeah.I’ll say it again: sloppy.